i have the best job in the world.
on becoming a postpartum support person.
Audio: Hearing by Sleeping At Last
it starts with a niggle.
I have the best job in the world and you’ve probably never heard of it.
Somewhere along the way of becoming a mother, I learnt about postpartum doulas.
My birth stories and learnings are for entirely different [long] post. But somewhere along the way, I learnt about the concept of postpartum care and it stuck. At the time, I was still committed to the office work I was doing in an entirely different industry. One that paid the bills and had great workmates, but likely wasn’t what I wanted to do when I grew up. So the niggle was there. I thought about the concept of becoming a postpartum doula like one thinks about a lover, while in a committed monogamous relationship. Forbidden. Enticing. Yearning.
And then my universe titled and I was thrown off course by a series of unfortunate events. For some background context, check out my post ‘do you know anything, mum?’
My family offered to pay for the services of a postpartum doula in my area, to come and do whatever I needed, and well, I fell in love with the role even more. Katie Allen [SEQ families - check her out] was my beautiful postpartum fairy godmother. She fleeted around the house helping with whatever I needed (and didn't know I needed until she did it). Part cleaner, part baby holder, part put my life back together-er. The times she visited were simple but so powerful.
Fast forward a year and I had put myself back together, or really, had begun redefining who I was entirely. With lots of time, therapy and big feelings, I moved to simplify life for myself and my family. I left the job I’d been committed to previously, and while that break up didn’t feel great as it happened, it was freeing on the other end for me, hopefully for them too. I had a side business with a fellow mumma, running a toy exchange and playgroup at the time as well, so I settled nicely into mumming and showing up in the community at our playgroups and events.
then a nudge.
The goddess that supported me during my second pregnancy and birth, Midwife Alex from Newlife Midwifery, became more than a midwife to me, as she has for so many other women in our local community. She became a friend, mentor and eventually business collaborator. Alex has the ability to warmly nudge women toward who they really are, rather than who they thought they were. She sees only the power and possibility of each woman. Through her, we see a glimpse of the version of ourselves that is possible when we put aside what society taught us and instead explore who we are at our core.
She nudged me toward the path that I’m now and for that I’ll be forever thankful. Lately, I’ve had days where I’ve thought to myself, this is the life I wanted to live and I’m fucking living it. It’s not flashy or fancy. It’s wholesome and creative. It’s so very me.
When I mentioned to Alex that becoming a postpartum doula was something I was interested in exploring, her eyes lit up and she shared with me a concept that very similar and inline with my thoughts. Another midwifery clinic up the coast were already practicing it successfully. It was a postpartum support service, endorsed by the midwifery clinic itself but seperate to it. Reading through their portfolio of services, I knew that it was something I needed to explore in our region, too. Alex knew that I had it in me to be that person for women in Ipswich and honestly I did too. My life experience, paired with my interests and skills, meant it was a no brainer. My husband was on board as he knew I’d be great at it and loved how much the concept lit me up.
With the endorsement of New Life Midwifery, I kicked off Kinected, an in-home postpartum support service, with my fellow mumma business partner, though she’d remain behind the scenes as she was in a different season of life. It’s been just over a year since we launched the business and it’s been such an epic ride! My creativity gets let off the leash happily when I support clients. I have never felt so grounded and right in the work I’m doing.
My first client is still, and probably always will be, a client. What began with a three month postpartum support contract, has continued on into ongoing weekly support. I have learnt so much from her and she from me. I have watched her family evolve and blossom. It brings me so much joy to leave their home each time, seeing the rays of sunshine emanate from her and her little ones as they wave me off. They ground me and raise me up at the same time.
what do you actually do?
When someone asks what I do these days, they usually ask, nicely, what the fuck a postpartum support person actually does.
What I do varies greatly for each family, so long as it’s within our insurance parameters. From cleaner, to babysitter, to skating coach, to motherhood peer supporter, to house declutterer, to cheerleader… it varies and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
A lot of it is about trust and intuition. Establishing trust and empathy with my clients allows them to feel seen, heard and held. With each client, I form a relationship that ebbs and flows. We read one another. With consent, we use our intuition to feel out what might need to actually get done for the day. I’m very conscious of the energy I bring into their homes. I do my best to put aside what might be happening in my life. But I also show them that I’m human too, as a way to model thoughts and feelings they are allowed to have too. That’s where the peer support comes in.
Highlights from my time as a postpartum support person include, but are not limited to:
Helping a client nest and prepare for their first home birth, drawing experience from my own home birth preparation and learnings
Supporting said mama in the early hours of labour and waking to the news of a beautiful birth and empowered mama of two
Weeding vegetables patches and hanging out with little humans in their grassy backyard while their mama gets a little bit of quiet inside
Holding the hand of a client undergoing an elective c-section, advocating for her in the minutes after birth to ensure she got the breastfeeding journey she had worked toward second time around
Teaching a four year old and mama to use the roller skates that were gathering dust in their closet
Hugging a grateful and healing mama, us both crying with happy tears as I finished up two weeks of intensively supporting her and her family
Helping a mama nest before major, life altering surgery
Rocking six week old twins to sleep and cuddling them while their warn out mama got some shut eye
Jumping on a trampoline with a four year old and eleven month old while their mama put in headphones, listening to a nourishing podcast and prepping dinner
Starting the new year with a complete declutter of a home, room by room, week by week
Dancing in the kitchen while baking.
a calling.
The privilege is not lost on me that I am invited into client homes during such beautiful but sometimes vulnerable moments and I do my best to honour each family accordingly. Becoming a postpartum support person felt like a coming home. It was that feeling of, oh this is what you’ve been working toward all along.
I’m a portfolio career kind of gal, picking up skills from all kinds of places and keeping them for future use. It’s a varied skillset that I carry around now. I thought that was a fault once a upon a time, that I couldn’t just stick to the one career and get good at that for forty years, but now I believe the portfolio approach to be a blessing. Above all else, I’m a creative and I it bring along with everything I do.
This work also allows me, and encourages me, to be my quirky creative self. Somehow the work doesn’t drain me, but fills my cup. It spurs me on to be the best mum and creative and wife. Now, with the encouragement of my clients, I’m incorporating my learnings of coming back to my creative self into client homes. To help the families find their creative selves again. For me, it’s what I used to love as a kid. Reading, writing, photography, skating, pilates, listening to music, books, podcasts etc and gardening. For them, it’s things like baking, sewing, dancing and gardening. It lights them up and that lights me up.
The journey has just begun in the scheme of things, but I don’t think a day will go by when I’m not humbled and in awe of the work I do and the families I meet. I want to learn more and keep evolving in the space of pregnancy, postpartum, motherhood and parenthood. For them, for me, for us.
If you are a client and are reading this, know that I appreciate you more than I could ever voice to you. To my early adopters and big believers, thank you thank you thank you.